Quiver
by Mrs.Randista
Summary: Things should have been simpler for them now that he wanted to forgive and forget.But just because he wanted it to happen didn't mean that it would be willed true.Randy just wished he knew that before hand. Centon Slash


**AN: **_So this is the last part to the three-shot series. It started out as a Shiver, progressed to a Tremble and now it's just a constant Quiver. This was the most difficult of them all to write and there were times when I though about scraping it entirely, but I finished and am pleased with the end product. I hope you all love it. Review and let me know!_

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><p>It had been two months since Randy had promised John that he would work on trying to forgive him for sleeping with Cody. And in those two months, Randy didn't feel anything change. He didn't want to admit it to John, but he had put his foot in his mouth when he said he would try. How the hell did one try to forgive and forget? It wasn't something he consciously knew how to do. He tried to tell his mind not to think about what had happened all those months ago, but it didn't listen to him.<p>

The only time he ever seemed to forget what had happened was when he was with John. He could barley even think about the simplest things like breathing whenever he was around him. So he tried to go about forgiving and forgetting by increasing his John time.

He didn't avoid him anymore, if anything he sought him out. They hung out a lot doing little things like eating and catching movies, and having sex of course. Randy guessed they were like dates. They never really talked about what the tango they were in was called. Randy was glad John had never pressured him about it because he had no idea what it was.

Did he forgive John for what he had done? Yeah, he did. He knew what kind of guy Cody could be when he wanted something and believed that Cody had come on to John. Cody had pounced on him in a similar manner when he had wanted to take their friendship further. He sort of understood why John had slept with Cody. He had tried to tell Randy plenty of times before that Cody had been cheating, but Randy had operated on the notion that what he didn't see wasn't a problem. He was sure that once Cody realized how serious things with them could have been he would have gladly settled down.

Forgiveness wasn't the problem. It was the forgetting he couldn't do. He could forget what John had done while he was supposed to be his best friend. If he was capable of that, what other kind of manipulative things could he be capable if he let him in his life as a lover? It was a scary though which was probably why he couldn't forget. His conscious was always throwing the image of Cody and John together at him as a reminder of what happened so he wouldn't throw himself into a relationship with John. It certainly didn't help that his emotions and mind were clouded buy what his body wanted. His body wanted John so much he could hardly control himself whenever he was around. It went on a buzz whenever they were in the same room and the only way to calm it was to have some sort of physical contact with John.

Randy lifted his leg on to the bench in front of him and slightly shook his head to clear it. He didn't need to be thinking of his personal problems before he went out to the ring. The last thing he needed was an injury to put more time on his hands to think about his crazy predicament.

He felt someone come up behind him and cover his eyes with their hands, and he quickly slapped them down, the actions not even registering in his mind as he continued lacing up his boots. "Cody how many damn times do I have to tell you not to do that? It's annoying." Even as the words flew out of his mouth, he just switched feet and tied his other boot up, seeming to be running on autopilot. It took a few more seconds for his mind to register what had actually happened and when it did he quickly turned around to see Cody grinning at him.

"Miss me?"

"No." Randy saw Cody's bottom lip turn down and poke out slightly and smiled knowing it would happen. "What are you doing here?"

Cody flopped down on the bench and kicked his legs out as he stared at Randy who had begun warming up. "I don't know something about starting a feud for the tag belts. Ted's here too." They sat in silence as Randy continued to warm up and Cody continued to stare at him.

"Stop staring at me like that, you're starting to freak me out more than normal." Cody laughed but didn't take his eyes off of Randy. "Seriously, Cody, stop." Randy turned so that his back was to Cody, but he still felt his eyes on him. Cody laughed again when Randy gave him a slight glare over his shoulder.

"What else am I supposed to do? I come in here to talk to my dear friend and you're ignoring me. So I'm getting something out of this, and that's watching your rippling muscles." Cody licked him lips overdramatically and waggled his eyebrows.

"I'm not ignoring you." Cody just stared at him with a blank look on his face. "What? You came here to see me; I'm not here to entertain you."

"Something crawl up your ass and die? You're acting crabbier than usual. Want me to check it out?" Cody quickly leaned forward and went to grab at Randy's butt. Randy side stepped his hands and slapped them out of the way as he moved to the center of the room to finish his warm up.

"Did you come here just to molest me? I have a match to get ready for."

Cody sat back with a huff and leant against the locker behind him. Usually whenever he came back to visit Randy he could see how much Randy had missed him. Randy always turned down his suggestions and never flirted back, but he would be always be able to see in Randy's eyes that he did still want him. Now it seemed that Randy could careless that he was there. "I came here to talk to you. It's been weeks. Haven't you missed me? I've missed you."

"Sure you have Cody."

Cody sat up acting as if he had been affronted. "What you don't believe me? I have missed you. Just last week I was getting laid, and all I could think was 'damn, this guy sure doesn't pound my ass the way Randy did'." Randy immediately stopped his warm up and grabbed Cody by the bicep dragging him out of the locker room trying to ignore the looks the other guys were sending him. Cody just smiled at him once they were out of the locker room.

"What the hell was that for Cody? Now you're going to have the roster gossiping about stupid shit."

"Oh please, who cares? It's not their business and what's so bad about them thinking we're together." Cody leaned in close to Randy making sure his entire body was pressed against Randy's side, but Randy quickly stepped away.

Randy rolled his eyes. He was beyond used to Cody acting crazy and throwing himself at him. He honestly didn't care what the roster though of him and Cody. For some odd reason he did care about what John though about him and Cody and that was weird.

"It's bad because we aren't together. Now I have a match to go do, maybe I'll see you later or something." Randy quickly walked away before Cody could protest.

He knew he was lying when he told Cody that he would possibly see him later. Honestly he didn't expect to see Cody later. He only said it to slightly placate him. He hadn't seen or spoken to John the entire night and while he did find it slightly odd, he didn't want to think too hard about it. So with no other plans, he was perfectly content to head back to his hotel room and sleep like the dead. That's why he was extremely surprised when Cody latched on to his arm as he was on his way out to the parking lot. "So what are we doing tonight?"

"I'm going to go back to my room and sleep."

Cody scrunched up his nose as if he had smelled something foul. "That's lame. I'm hungry! Feed me Randy! Feed me!" Randy tried to ignore him, but Cody wouldn't let go of his arm and as he quickly tried to jump in his car and leave Cody squeezed past him and hopped across into the passenger seat.

After a few tense minutes where Cody was sure to keep his mouth shut because he knew when he was pushing Randy too far, Randy pulled up to a diner. He put the car into park and stared over at Cody. "Well, are you going to get out?"

"I wasn't exactly hungry for food." Cody leered at Randy who shook his head in exasperation. "But since we're here, I might as well eat. Let's go!"

Randy sighed figuring that it would be easier to just give in to Cody in order to end the night sooner.

When they entered the dinner and went to sit Randy had to shove Cody away as he tried to slide into the same side of the booth that Randy was already sitting in. After the waitress took their orders Randy pulled out his phone checking to make sure he hadn't missed anything from John. After he had been reassured, he put his phone back in his pocket and stared at Cody.

"You know, I really do miss you." Cody had his head rested against the wall and was playing with the straw in his drink as he looked at Randy.

"I know you do, I was just fucking with you earlier." Randy had begun playing with his own drink just to avoid looking at Cody. Those eyes were definitely his kryptonite.

"If we had gone on for three more months it would have been four years."

"That I know too, I had already started planning an anniversary present for you." Cody gave a sad smile and Randy looked away from him. He didn't want to deal with it. He didn't need Cody coming to him reminding him of what could have been. He definitely wasn't going to work in favor of him trying to forget.

"You were the longest relationship I'd ever been in. You beat everyone else by three years."

Randy smiled knowing he didn't have to tell Cody he already knew that too. As he stared at Cody from across the table he had no clue how he could sit there with him and feel no anger towards him for what had happened. With John he always had to remind himself not to get angry or think about what happened. He sighed as he looked away from Cody once again.

"You know I always wondered why I did it. In the moment I told myself it was because John was hot and he was right there, but that wasn't the truth."

"Cody I really don't need to hear this." Randy wanted to cover his ears with his hands like a child to block out Cody's voice.

Cody just continued on as if he hadn't even heard Randy. "It took me until Teddy started yelling at me about always ruining things that I realized it. I was scared. I was scared shitless of the road we were heading down. I was scared shitless of the look in your eye when you would look at me. In my mind I was too young to settle down."

"Thank you for that admission, but I don't need an explanation Cody. You did what you did; it's in the past, so let's leave it there."

That time Cody did listen to Randy and that was the end of that conversation. The rest of dinner went on uneventful and Randy was happy that Cody had stopped reminiscing about the past and stopped hitting on him.

But it was later on the elevator that things changed again. Randy should have know that it was a bad idea to think that being alone with Cody in a confined space would have turned out bad. As soon as the doors closed Cody all but latched himself on to Randy's side again planted a kiss on Randy's lips. When he felt that Randy wasn't responding he trialed kisses along his jaw until he reached his ear. "I'm ready now Ran. I want to be with you, and this time I'll be in it for the long haul." Randy quickly pressed the button for the next floor.

"I can't Cody. I told you that you would regret what you had done. We're done forever. No second rounds or do-overs." He then quickly slid out of the doors right before they closed and sighed. He really should have expected that. He took the stairs to his floor and sighed against his door once he was finally in his room.

"Had a good night?" Randy nearly shot three feet in the air when he heard his voice. He opened his eyes and saw John stretched across his bed watching tv.

"How the hell did you get in here?"

"I have my ways. I heard you were out with Cody." Randy sighed as he walked over to the mini-bar and pulled out an overpriced mini bottle of whiskey. He could already tell he was going to need it.

"He forced me to take him out to dinner." Randy threw back half of the small bottle in one gulp ignoring the burn as it went down.

"You could have told me you were going." John sat up on the bed and Randy could tell he was annoyed and the slightest bit of angry, so he finished the rest of the bottle in his hands and dropped his duffle bag off by his other luggage.

"I didn't know I was going until I had a annoying pleading Rhodes in my car telling me to feed him. I didn't think it was a big deal, we didn't have anything planned for the night."

"So are you going to dump me for him now? Get back at me? Was this your plan all along?"

Randy laughed as he turned to face John. "I can't dump you because we aren't together."

"Look Randy, I know I told you I would wait however long it would take you to get over everything and I'm not going to rush you. But I'm also not going to sit around like some dumbass while you go prancing around with that slut."

"Don't call him a slut." He walked over to the trash can and dumped the empty bottle into it debating if he should go for a second one.

"Look, now you're defending the slut."

"I said don't call him that."

"It's what he is!"

Randy sat down on the edge of his bed and sighed. He had not been planning to deal with two emotional men in one night. He was already physically tired, and now he was emotionally drained as well. "I don't want Cody back. But I also haven't made any steps forward in forgiving you, and I think it's because you're always there in my face. I can't forget when you're always there in my face."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that we can't do this anymore. We can't go through all of the physical motions of a couple when I'm not emotionally there yet. I think we need some time apart or something so I can really clear my mind. I want this to work John, I really do, but they way we've been going is not the best way."

John looked at Randy and shook his head. "So this is a break up."

"If that's what you want to call it." He had rested his head in his hands so that he didn't have to see the look on John's face and risk it breaking his resolve. He heard the door open and then softly click close and let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding in. He had done the right thing. He just wished that it sounded like a fact and not a question in his mind.

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><p>Two weeks later, Randy was seriously regretting what he had said and done. He thought it would be as simple as cut the cancer out of your life and all will be well. He truly thought that all it would take was time away from John to clear him mind and actually move on. Love simply couldn't be enough in his case he was sure of it. He needed inner peace or some other bullshit like it in order to throw himself fully in the relationship.<p>

So for those lonely weeks he tried to find the inner peace. He looked everywhere for it. Starting in the gym and ending in a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. It wasn't there.

His head didn't seem any clearer. If anything it was clouded with thoughts of John more than ever. John was all he thought about. He would watch a commercial and all he could think was John would have laughed at that. He would see John's face on random people. He would hear John's voice in his head telling him how stupid he was being.

But even with all of the regret he felt and the pain and void in his chest he knew only John could fill, he couldn't apologize or tell John that he was wrong. And he blamed it all on the fact that he still had no way of knowing if he was really over it and ready to leap into something with John. He didn't want to be in the middle of fucking just to be reminded of what happened and have to explain to John once again that he wasn't ready.

The only think he did know for sure, was that he missed John now, more than he had over the eight months when he hadn't been talking to him, and that scared him.

Randy was in the locker room once again but this time he was seated on the bench looking out at all of the other guys in the room get ready. He was looking, but he wasn't seeing. His mind was occupied and everything around him was just like background noise. That was until he entered the room.

As soon as John stepped in the door Randy's eyes zeroed in on him. But as soon as his eyes locked in on him, all of the background noise that was in the room before was instantly gone. Randy heard nothing. Also gone were the other men in the locker room, the only thing he could clearly see was John…and the guy who was latched to his side who he had his arm wrapped around.

Randy sat puzzled. It wasn't clicking in his mind. It didn't help that he felt the void in his chest expanding. It felt like it was almost consuming him. He could hear the drumming of his heartbeat in his ears. He saw John laugh as he headed over to an empty space in the room and shrug his bag off of his shoulder, but his other arm remained around the faceless guy's shoulder.

He quickly shot up out of his seated position and ran from the room not wanting to witness any other interaction between John and the faceless guy.

Randy was glad to find that when he returned to the locker room after his match it was devoid of John and the faceless so he quickly grabbed his things and exited the room.

He should have known with the way his night was going that he wasn't going to make it back to his room without any other bumps in the road. But he was sure when he stepped into the elevator back at the hotel he was safe. He planned on trying to get blackout drunk in his room and passing out without thinking about John at all.

What he didn't expect was to see John and mystery guy walking up to John's hotel door. He hated that he had to walk past them in order to get to his own room, but he wasn't going to back down by cowering in the elevator. So he inhaled deeply and stepped off of the elevator. Just as he was about to pass the room, John opened the door and walked in.

Now, looking back, Randy honestly had no clue how the next series of events actually transpired. All he knew was that one moment he was about to walk past the door, and in the next he was inside of John's room slamming it shut. He wanted to think that John pulled him in as he attempted to walk past, but he knew that in actuality he most likely shoved the mystery guy out of the way and walked in himself.

"What the hell are you doing?" John looked at Randy with an amused smile as he walked over to the night stand where he placed his keys and keycard.

"I think the better question is what the hell are you doing John?" Randy stayed pressed against the door trying to think his way out of the situation without seeming desperate or delusional.

John sat down on his bed and bent over to remove his shoes as he chuckled. "Well it looks like I'm not doing anything tonight now." Once his shoes were off he quickly stripped out of his shirt and started to remove his pants as well.

"I'm not here to have sex with you!" Randy yelled while pressing back even further against the door in an attempt to stop himself from reaching out to grab John. His body was already buzzing at the sight of John standing there in nothing but his boxers.

John let out another chuckle. "I'm not attempting to seduce you Ran, I'm about to take a shower."

Randy let out a quiet oh, as he willed his body not to react to the sight of John in front of him but as he felt his blood start to rush south, he knew he was failing.

"You still haven't answered my question yet. What are you doing here?"

Randy took his bottom lip in his mouth and bit at it as he tried to think of a viable reason for busting into John's room, but his mind was blank. It got worse when John walked over to where he was still pressed up against the door. He once again felt all thoughts leave his mind as John was close enough for Randy to feel his breath puff out against his face.

"I just wante-" Randy started but was quickly cut off when John pressed his lips against Randy's. The kiss was slow and light and John tried to end it quickly but Randy wrapped his hand around his neck keeping his head in place. It was a simple kiss with minimal tongue and movement involved, but with it, Randy slowly felt the void in his chest begin to close. The kiss finally broke when their lungs were burning from lack of air. But before Randy could even catch his breath words he had no control over were spilling form his mouth. "I'm sorry. I was really stupid and we don't need time away from each other. I've been blaming my reluctance on what happened in the past, but in the past two weeks I didn't even think about it once. All I could think about is how much I've missed you and want to be with-"

Randy was once again cut off by John but this time the kiss was not as gentle. John's hands were all over him and Rand could feel John growing hard against his thigh. When the kiss broke aging Randy started talking again, but John just started trailing his hands up underneath Randy's shirt. "Would you listen to me? I'm trying to confess my undying love to you and all you can think about it getting some!"

John chuckled against Randy's neck, pulled back and placed a light peck on his lips. "I get it. You made a mistake, realized it, and now we can be together like actually be together." He immediately latched back on to Randy's neck.

"Wait that's not all, who the hell was that guy you were about to fuck? You sure do move on fast John."

John sighed and pulled away from Randy once again. "That guy was Evan, couldn't you tell?" Randy thought back but he couldn't remember ever looking at the guy's face and seeing something. It was always just a hazy blur as if his eyes only wanted to focus on John. "And we weren't about to fuck, he only came here to help me scheme a way to get you alone so you could talk to me. He's my friend now, nothing more." Randy raised his eyebrow in skepticism.

"Seriously, you don't have to lie. I can handle it. It's not like you cheated on me or anything, I understand com-" John just stepped back completely so that their bodies were no longer touching and looked up into Randy's eyes. Randy almost fell over at the sudden loss of contact.

"Now listen Randy, I love you and you love me and all that other stuff, but this is never going to work if you don't learn to trust me. I had no intention of fucking Evan. When I said I would wait I meant it, I just wanted to give you a kick in the right direction. I don't want anyone but you. That's it. You're it for me."

Randy nodded his head and leaned forward so that his head was resting in the crook of John's neck and wrapped his arms around him. "I believe you. No plans on fucking."

He didn't know how he didn't see it before when it was so obvious to him now. He never wanted to forgive John because he had hurt him deeper than Cody did. He didn't' love Cody nearly as much as he did John which was why it was harder to just shrug it off and pretend everything was okay with John. But even when he realized how great they could be together, he was still afraid to trust John. So instead his mind continued to show him how John had betrayed him in the past. He interpreted it as not having forgotten what John had done, but in reality it was just his fear. "I love you so much it scares me John."

"I love you too Randy. There's nothing to be scared about." Randy just tightened his hold on John and inhaled the sent that surrounded him. "Wait, I might have lied, there maybe one thing to be scared about." Randy quickly picked his head up and stared at John waiting for him to continue. "If I were you I would fear how difficult walking is going to be once I finish making up for those two dry weeks I had to go through without any sex."

Randy threw his head back and laughed as John picked him up and threw him on the bed. He wasn't stupid or delusional enough to think that things were going to be perfect between them, but he did know that some how, hopefully, it would all work out in the end.

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><p><strong>AN II: <strong>_I am kind of sad that it's over now, but I do have an idea for an actual story with a John and Randy pairing floating around in my head. Hopefully it makes it out. Sorry if the ending was too sappy, I wasn't planing on it being that way, but Starlight by Muse and Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses happened to come on back to back while I was writing the ending and thus produced sap. Thanks for everyone who took the time to read, review, favorite and alert these stories. You are honestly the reason I continued. So thank you for all of the feed back! _


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